worthless

How I�m feeling- Slightly damp (stupid rain kicking up just as I get out of the car), and a little conflicted.

What else I�m doing- Listening to my favorite mix CD, playing Neopets, answering Danni�s LARP questions

Strange thought- Why is it all my tension sits in my shoulders and neck. What could I possibly do to change that?

Well, Erik and I went out with Danni last night. We saw XXX, and it was pretty cool. I hope Danni is feeling somewhat better, otherwise I will feel like a failure as a friend. I don�t know how I would feel to find out that people think of me as a sucky friend. I will stop thinking about that now.

I got to hire Meg! *happy dances* I felt all weird calling her house and leaving a message, especially since I never call her Megan. I was a big dork on the phone message too, mostly cause I had to play manager. It will be so odd being manager to my best friend. What if something goes wrong and I have to reprimand her? It prolly won�t happen, but still�I mean, Meg can kick my ass! I hope she and I have fun working together though.

Otherwise, there is nothing like working 10 days in a row to make you wish you had more work shirts and pants. I have been being rather crabby lately, and this is causing all manner of problems. See, I like having a full time job. It gives me security and something to do, along with money to survive off of. What I don�t like is the fact that Lisa has such ridiculous schedule limitations that I never get more than 1 day off a week. I need a vacation. Usually, I could make the schedule so I get two days off, but never two days in a row, cause Lisa can�t work Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, hates working Friday evening, and also doesn�t like working Saturdays. I don�t mind working Saturday or Sunday, but working 10 hours the day of the LARP might just drive me around the bend. I have gotten used to working the Sunday after the LARP, but I still hate missing out on that sleep.

I am viewing going to Smackdown with Lemon and Dan as a mini vacation of sorts. I plan on getting Erik a prize for being such a spiffy boyfriend and letting me go without complaining. Still, he has said he will worry a lot. I will leave my cell phone with him and beg Lemon to let me borrow his so I may call Erik and let him know I�m safe. Also, that way I can tell Erik about the different shirts and see what he will want. I feel like a good girlfriend now.

So I mentioned at the beginning feeling a little conflicted. This is my problem. I have a full time job, great friends, a spiffy wardrobe, money, partial independence, and a monkey. Why then do I still feel worthless sometimes? It�s like I start thinking I don�t deserve anything that I have. It sucks so much, cause I start thinking that something is going to happen that makes everything fall to shit, and that might turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

*listens to Dragula, mentally dances* Why can I find so many damn songs on this CD that would make good sexy dancing songs? I swear, my hormones are going on overload. Argh! This sucks, cause its not like I have easy access to relieving hormonal pressure. Stupid family not liking sleepovers. Grarg.

My medical insurance kicks in on September 1st. It will cost me $35.00 a month, but I�ll have medical, dental, prescriptions, vision, the whole nine yards. When that happens, I�ll be happy to get sick. Maybe I�ll start accumulating vacation time soon too, joy of all joys.

CJ�s mom keeps letting me borrow books. How cool is that? I mean, it�s one thing when your friends� parents dig you, but letting you borrow their fantasy books? That�s just wicked spifftacular. Not only that, but I convinced CJ�s little sister Julie to come check out the LARP. She�s pretty cool, and hopefully she�ll like it.

I bought my first two DVD�s in my soon to be huge collection. I got Triple H-The Game, to sate my Triple H addiction, and The Hardy Boyz-Leap of Faith to sate my Matt Hardy addiction. I swear, if I actually get to meet Matt Hardy when I go to Smackdown, I will prolly dissolve into a little puddle of Jill-type goo. Should be fun for work the next day.

Stupid Discman needing new batteries every few days. I need to find the plug, before I go broke off batteries. I need to get some new CD�s. I started a list, but I lost it. I might go impulse buying, but not too badly. I would love some new mixed CD�s, but I know CJ needs a list of songs. I need a psychic CD recorder. That way, it could just go into my head and pick out the songs I�ll want to listen to over and over. That would rock.

I think I might turn off my Instant Messager, cause I am getting sick and tired of having totally pointless IM conversations when I am trying to do something else. Chronicles are due on Saturday, so I have the IM on in case I get questions. There are a few other people I don�t mind talking to, because they are usually interesting, but some people just blather about stupid crap, which bugs me so much.

I think I need to make another silly facts page, cause I thought up more stuff. That and I plan on explaining the Gutter Mind I possess for those not in the know. That should be fun.

Anywho, I�ve got stuff to do, so on with the quotes-

I saw this on a T-shirt I hope to get- �I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

And some Wrestling quotes, tee hee-

�Matt Hardy's quicker than a hiccup.�

-J.R.

�And ladies my bazooka is locked, cocked and ready to unload.�

-Triple H

�Very, very good Pavlov, all your dogs have barked when you rang the bell. Your test was successful.� -Triple H to Rock after he said one of his catchphrases which caused a huge pop